Ever notice how it's the little things in life that amuse us so much? More to the point, ever notice how it's the silly little idiocies in life that amuse us more than anything else? Well, this is not as much ''the little blog that could'' as it is ''the blog that enjoys going up the down escalator in your local mall.'' Will it have anything of real importance? No, probably not. But enjoy the ride never the less!

 

So there I was, sitting at the computer as Mel sat down to watch the old VHS tapes of the Star Wars trilogy, which happen to include the interviews with George Lucas at the start of each movie. As I'm idling about, I hear Mel exclaim the following words: "George Lucas talks too long...and he has no neck!"

To which I suggested, "Well, maybe he just has a saggy chin. I don't know!"

But getting back to this little bit of nowhere, yesterday saw Mel, Gary and I hanging out at the Ontario Rennaissance Festival with Kevin & Donna. Much wenching, drinking and rejoicing ensued throughout the day. There were many memories and purchases (not to mention things I could only pine for...ah, sweet leather coat, why must thou torment me so with your $550 price tag?), and so to keep things concise, here are some lessons learned from the Renfair:

--Celtic Ale, which is very dark, kicks like a soccer cleat to the teeth; whereas cream ale is light, bright and sweet (but oddly enough, does not taste like Cream Lemon)

--you can never have too much jerky...and apparently there is such a thing as salmon jerky too

--it is not necessarily a good thing to flag down the guy selling dill pickles, and say you want a long, thick, juicy pickle to suck on.

--if they run out of turkey legs, you may have to wait 2 hours before you can get them again


Hmmm...upon rereading this, it occurs to me that these lessons are all about food. Was that all I really thought about during the Renfair?! Well, yes, mostly. But here are a few lessons gleaned from our visit that are not related to food:

--the French are still poufs, no matter what era they hail from

--being stuck in the gallows for thieving, and exclaiming to the magistrate, "Honestly, Sir, I don't know how those chickens got into my jerkin!" won't help you get out on parole. Likewise, it is counter-productive to be stuck in the gallows for being a lech, and have your protesting go like this: "Sir, I am not a lech, I love my wife and...hey, baby, what are you and those two best friends of yours doing after the joust tonight?"

--be worried when your wife is enjoying the weapons shops far too much, and is seriously contemplating purchasing a set of throwing knives. Or alternately, don't be worried, and if she buys them, realise that from here on in, it's probably a safe idea to let her win all the subsequent arguments you ever have.

--smartasses in the audience will get dunked in the lake for being smartasses

--nothing beats hanging out at the end of the day with all the Renfair Players, who, still in character, sing, carouse and drink. Now bear in mind, in order to drink, you have to present ID and wear a bright pink bracelet. By the end of the day, over three-quarters of the players in the pub were wearing those bracelets. Ah, sweet, sweet ale!


Today's Lesson: when you go the Ranfair, wear sunscreen. Please. (ow, my ears...and forehead...and neck....)


posted by Phillip at 3:32 PM